SkulduggerificAfter Mortal Coil
by A Girl Named K
Summary: A collection of drabbles set after Mortal Coil. More or less the same as the original, with more mentions of prostitutes, homosexuality and drug abuse  from the one person you didn't think could use drugs . Enjoy!
1. Comfort

**Comfort**

"I miss her," Valkyrie said quietly, tears in her eyes. "I miss the fun we had together. I miss the talks, and the laughs, and the support she gave me through everything-my training, my relationship with Fletcher, the Darquesse thing..."

She sobbed. "She was my sister! My best girlfriend and now she'sgone. She's off with Billy-Ray Sanguine with that Remnant possessing her and I just...don't know what to do."

Valkyrie sniffed, and smiled weakly. "Thanks for listening, by the way. I really needed someone to talk to."

Valkyrie looked up and saw China writing in one of her ledgers. The librarian looked up and blinked her blue eyes at Valkyrie.

"Sorry?" she asked lazily.

Valkyrie wailed.


	2. Lust

**Lust**

She watched him from her post behind her desk in the library. He was talking about some case with Ghastly and Valkyrie. He had his facade up, and at the moment his skin was pale, his hair was jet-black and short and his eyes were brown. It was all wrong. His skin was _supposed_ to be lightly tanned, his hair nut-brown, his eyes a strange green. The only thing about it though, was that he was almost as breath-takingly handsome as he had been when she first met him.

That suit clung to his slim frame in all the right places. The way he held himself was fabulous-so cool,collected, elegant. And that _voice_-that velvet mumble was all that kept her going sometimes. She remembered nights, so long ago, when he was muttering in her ear atrocious things with that silken voice, pressing her into the grass on a lonely Connaught hill under a starry sky, a hand at her thigh, her breath catching-

"China are you dribbling?"

Fletcher was standing over her. China awoke, blinked and composed herself.

"Yes Fletcher, I was just practicing my impersonation of you," she replied simply, wiping her mouth and walking away. Fletcher stood there, looking wounded. Skulduggery turned around.

"What was that Fletcher?" he asked. Fletcher blinked.

"I don't know," he replied with a whimper.


	3. Awkwardness

**Awkwardness**

"Sometimes it hurts so much I can barely stand it," Ghastly said, gazing at the wood of the table. "I try, and try, to forget about her but I just can't. Her face...her smile, that adorable London accent...and that LEATHER-"

He pounded the table with his fist. "Why wasn't I there? How come I didn't look after her? And now she's...off somewhere with that Remnant inside her, sucking the face off Billy-Ray Sanguine and getting into all sorts of trouble and I can't do anything about it!"

He fell silent, fuming with angst and emotion. Then he sighed.

"I...would do ANYTHING to bring her back to normal. Anything. I just...I love her so much."

"Um...Elder Bespoke?"

Ghastly looked up. The rest of the mages in the conference room were all staring at him. A grey-haired mage stared at him cautiously.

"This is a meeting, sir," the mage said hesitantly. "Are you...are you with us?"

Ghastly blinked. "Yes," he said, regaining his composure. "Um, yes I am."

"Great Ghastly," Erskine said, looking quite freaked out and returning to to business, "Now, um, what were we discussing?"


	4. Refreshment

**Refreshment**

Valkyrie was sitting on Skulduggery's couch, when Fletcher appeared in front of her, grinning.

"Hiya," he said cheerfully. Valkyrie folded her arms.

"What the hell took you so long?" she asked.

"Well," he began, hesitating. "I was just..."

"Doing your hair, Fletcher?" Skulduggery guessed, passing through the living room with a towel over his arm. Fletcher scowled.

"No," he replied, then added. "I was in the shower."

"With whom?"

"Skulduggery!"

"Well I'm sorry Valkyrie, but if your boyfriend spends that long in the shower after calling you, saying that he'll meet you in 20 minutes, you should be suspicious."

"Ever think that maybe I like to look AND smell nice before meeting my girlfriend, Skul?" Fletcher asked angrily, but Skulduggery was gone. Fletcher scowled and sat on the couch.

"Hey, d'you ever wonder what Skulduggery does to stay clean?" Fletcher asked. Valkyrie shrank back at the random question.

"Okay, creepy thought, Fletcher," Valkyrie replied. "But...he's a skeleton, he doesn't have sweat glands. He dosn't need to...bathe."

"Yeah, but he has a bathroom," Fletcher pressed.

"Sure but that's for visitors..."

"So where's he gone now?"

Valkyrie blinked, and they both looked at the ceiling.

The two teenagers appeared upstairs outside Skulduggery's bathroom. They could hear the spray of a shower. Valkyrie let go of Fletcher and crept toward the door. She looked back at him.

"It's open,"she mouthed. Slowly, Fletcher crept up to the door, and Valkyrie pushed it open.

Inside, the shower was on, spraying out a white liquid rather than a clear one, and standing under the spray was Skulduggery, completely undressed, skull cast up towards the ceiling and jaw open in absolute...

"What the fuck!" Valkyrie screeched, and bolted from the doorway in terror. Skulduggery looked toward the doorway way to see Fletcher, standing there awkwardly.

"Um," Fletcher began, to fill the silence. "What...um...is that?"

Skulduggery stared. "Milk."

"Ah." Fletcher nodded. "Um...see ya,"

Fletcher teleported.


	5. Jealousy

**Jealousy**

Billy Ray Sanguine was on his couch, watching TV. His girlfriend Tanith suddenly bounded into the room.

"Change that channel now, slave!" she screeched leaping onto the couch and making him flinch.

"I really wish you didn't call me that..." the Texan mumbled, at which point Tanith punched him across the the jaw and grabbed the remote from him.

"An' here was me thinkin' when you got possessed by that Remnant you'd be nicer to me," he continued, then thought about what he had just said and decided to move swiftly on. "Anyway, what're you flickin' to?"

"You'll see," Tanith said with a demonic smile on her face. Eventually she came to TV3, and a re-run of the X Factor came on. Some dude with a clingy top who had forgotten to shave for two days was playing an acoustic version of Hit Me Baby One More Time. Tanith started clapping her hands like a maniac. Sanguine looked at her in disbelief.

"I also thought when you got possessed by that Remnant you'd have cooler taste," he stated bluntly.

"Just because I've got a Remnant inside me does not mean I've lost my love of nice guys," Tanith said, wagging a finger. "And Matt Cardle is the nicest guy EVER!"

"You know," Sanguine said with a charming smile, sliding toward her. "I can sing a lil' too..."

"Shut up, Sanguine."

"But-"

She punched him again. Billy-Ray stayed quiet. That Cardle dude hit a note that Billy Ray hadn't thought was POSSIBLE for a man to hit, and Tanith clapped her hands and squealed with glee again.


	6. Urges

**Urges**

Anton Shudder rapped gently on the wooden door of Room 17 as he always did at 7 o'clock each morning.

"Caelan," he called hesitantly. He unbolted the door's three bolts and unlocked it with his key. He waited for the vampire to open the door himself, and after a moment Caelan pulled the door open slowly.

"Hi," he greeted awkwardly. "Was I, um, abnormally loud last night?"

Anton hesitated a little, but then nodded. "Yes Caelan. You were, actually."

"How loud?"

"Well, you know the way all sounds from inside the rom are, you know, supposed to remain inside the room?"

"Yeah?"

"Well I was watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show in my private quarters and I was still able to hear your screaming over it."

If Caelan could have blushed he would have. His gaze fell to the floor.

"Were you, um..." Anton began to ask, quite awkwardly. "Hungry?"

Caelan sighed. "In a matter of speaking."

"Because really, I can alter your menu if you like..."

"No, Mr Shudder," Caelan cut in, eyes squeezed shut. "It's not...FOOD that I'm hungry for, it's..."

He didn't go on but Anton understood. "Oh," he said.

"Yeah."

"I see."

"Yes."

"So...who is she?"

"Just a woman," Caelan said with a shrug. Anton frowned.

"It's not...it's not Valkyrie Cain, is it?"

Caelan was silent then looked at Anton. "You're, um, friends with Skulduggery, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then no," Caelan replied, shaking his head vigourously. "No, it's not."

"Right," Anton said slowly. There was a moment of silence.

"Do you," he began, "What to talk about...her?"

"Yes!" Caelan sobbed suddenly, yanking Anton inside the bedroom and shutting the door.

"She's amazing!" Caelan sobbed in agony, hugging a pillow to his chest.

Anton shifted uncomfortably on the broken bed. "Right."

"She's adorable," the vampire continued, "But strong. And intelligent. And funny. But she doesn't want me! I can't stand being this upset about this, but I just can't help it. I've never felt this way before!"

He flung the pillow at a wall and scowled. "I'm as bad as Edward fucking Cullen with all this angst!"

Anton blinked. "Well Caelan, I feel for you. I really do. You...really seem to want this girl."

Caelan glared at him.

"Woman," Anton corrected quickly. Caelan sighed.

"Yes," he said simpy and softly. He moved closer to Anton, making the hotel owner back up to the headboard slightly. "You see...I'm split in two. See, PART of me, is totally, irrevocably in love with her, so much that I can hardly stand it..."

Anton decided not to mention that he was quoting slightly from Twilight.

"And another part of me, a...a weaker but scarier part want's to... drink from her!"

Anton stared in horror as the vampire perched on the bed, lost in his own thoughts, licking his lips.

"Okay," Anton squeaked, rising slowly. "I'm, um, going to get you some breakfast..."

And Anton Shudder bolted to the door, yanked it open and ran down the hall.

**A/N: Ah, scary thoughts, scary thoughts. Next chapter: are you wondering what ever happened to Solomon after Mortal Coil? Prepare to find out!**


End file.
